“Looking Back on the Wait”

August 17, 2010

Many people, once something is over, don’t invest time going back to learn from what happened.  They just go on, facing whatever comes next.

While that way of doing things undoubtedly is less mentally and emotionally taxing, it has a tragic flaw: you don’t profit much from what you just endured.  As I see it, the failure to do that kind of evaluation is problematic, whether the outcome was positive or negative.  You see, if what happened was bad, you’re shortsightedly leaving yourself wide open to it occurring again in your life.  And, even if the end result was good, not thinking it through again leaves you in the position of not really appreciating what took place—and, make no mistake, few things are less attractive, more immature or self-centered in a personality than ingratitude.

A personal case study on waiting is my pre-marriage relationship with my wife.  I knew her for almost four and a half years before we got engaged and almost five years when we finally got married.  Now, that may not sound like that long to some of you, but, if you knew that, within a couple of months after I met her, I had decided to marry her, you can begin to sense how long and emotionally difficult the wait was.

Looking back, though, I now completely agree with why she would not talk to me seriously about marriage for so long.  She was absolutely right about the fact that I needed to change in a number of areas.  Yes, I tried very hard to talk her into the “Let’s get married now and work through those changes together,” but she stood her ground.  In the end, she got the man she deserved and I am better for the waiting.


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